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Enough is Enough
First time posting here. I hope this is the correct way to do things around here.
About a week ago I was just going through some deep thoughts when I came to the realization that I have not had any long term time away from drinking or enjoying a joint in the evenings.
I started to drink around 16 and never looked back. Weed came in around the age of 30. I am now 34. So in short I have not known what it is like to be truly 100% sober for any period of time for around 18 years.
My Drinking has been heavy here and there over this time period but never did interfere with my work or family life. I never missed any obligation due to drinking. I run my own company and have 4 great kids and wife and they have never had to suffer due to my stupid drinking/drugging.
But... I am concerned, and why I am posting here. Up until a week ago able to drink a mickey (or 375 ml) of vodka straight up and only get the warm feeling in the tummy. I would not drink anymore than that at any time as it was often enough and did not want to be sick the next day.
But to any "non heavy drinker" to be able to drink that amount straight up with one shot and walk away fine would open eyes for sure. And I know if I had tried this back in my university days I would have passed out drunk and sick for days for sure.
As for the MJ, I have been using this daily for a few years now and the feelings of guilt on this alone have really hurt my mentality I think.
So here I stand 7 days in with nothing no booze, no MJ and holy hell I feel absolutely RAW and completely out of my own skin type feeling. Over the last 7 days I have had night sweats that would require me to change cloths 4 times each night. the nausea is horrible and I get cold / hot flashes constantly. I also feel like I am trembling all the time.
The one thing I don't seem to have at this point is the cravings to go back and drink or smoke. I want to know what it is like to be sober from everything after all these years of being in a "fog"
I am excited to know what it is like to be sober for a year and how my body/mind will work.
Here is to a week clean and the new in living! lets hope I am strong enough to continue.